I was putting my daughter, R, to bed tonight and thought it was strange that she was encouraging me to go to bed myself ... until I came down stairs for a glass of water and found the chair in front of the fridge - a sure sign that she has been in the freezer for something.  This time it was an ice cream sandwich.  I normally don't keep desserts around simply because if we don't have it, she won't really think to ask for it every. single. day.

I tried to use my active listening and "Boundaries" techniques I have been learning and told her that the consequence for not telling the truth is much greater than the consequence for doing something she shouldn't.  I put her back to bed saying that she and I would sit down tomorrow to talk about what the consequences for each infraction would be.

Now I have to come up with consequences for each.  She is 5, a very good and sensitive child.  Mostly a good listener and understands loss of privileges.  We don't go many places (I'm a law student on a very small budget) and she doesn't do extracurricular activities.  The typical loss of privilege is our bedtime story, which has been very effective for infractions relating to bedtime preparation.

We identified (through the active listening) that she is afraid to tell the truth so she denies, pretty typical of young children.  I want to break that pattern so she is more afraid of the consequence of the lie than the consequence for the misbehavior but keep it age-appropriate and productive, i.e. no corporal punishment or soap in the mouth.

Any thoughts or suggestions?